Desperate or not

Recently I have very weird emotions. Sometimes I feel very desperate to have a boyfriend. But sometimes I think all these desperateness is just because I need a soul mate.

This sudden desperate emotion might be due to few ex-classmates getting or gotten married. I felt that I'm unwanted and even worse, unseen. Am I that bad ah? Maybe nobody notice me gua, this is how I console myself most of the time. Some friend said it's because I stay at home most of the time or just hang out with cousins, so I didn't get to know more people.

But actually no loh. Every week I go to Korean class (but the class are almost all girls la). I teach drawing (I'm teaching kids though). I might had reduce the frequency of hiking but I will go as soon as the monsoon is over. Seriously I don't see any reason nobody noticing my presence. lol. Desperate-nya. I myself cannot tahan my desperateness also. =P But sometimes that's what crossed my mind loh. Don't you single ladies out there same age with me think the same too?

And it's worse when you have this feeling towards this guy and this guy don't even treat you like a girl. How hilarious right? Haha. It's all the same since my first crush. Nobody have the same feeling towards me like I did. There's one exception only though, where we really started out but ended down in drain due to some hilarious reasons from the other party.

My romance history had been such a joke.



Since I have such a pathetic romance history.I might as well stop looking around but looking back at myself. I realize I haven't been treating myself good enough in terms of emotions. Might as well using the time to treat myself better than wasting time on nonsense feelings which will give no return.

This is my first 2010 new year resolution.



Just ignore me. I'm just talking to myself. =P